2 Samuel 18
David organised his army into divisions to face Absalom, appointing commanders of tens, hundreds and thousands with Joab in overall command with 1/3 of the troops, with Joab's brother Abishai and Ittai the Gittite taking the other 2/3.
David wanted to lead the troops personally but his advisers said that if David was killed it would all be over, but their lives were of less interest to Absalom and his army. David made a request that Absalom be treated kindly.
The battle took place in a forest in the region of Ephraim, spreading out to cover a large area.
David's army routed Absalom and his army.
Absalom met his demise when he came across some of David's soldiers while riding on his donkey.
As he rode off at top speed his hair got caught in the low branches of an oak tree and the donkey did not stop, leaving Absalom dangling helpless by his hair.
The men in immediate pursuit reported that Absalom was hanging in a tree to Joab, who with 10 of his men killed Absalom - thus ending the rebellion and restoring David as king.
Amihaaz the son of the priest wanted to take the news to David , but Joab knows that David does not usually take the news of the death of his enemy well, after all he killed the messanger who told him that Saul was dead because he had helped him to die.
Joab sent a cushite to tell David the news that Absalom is dead and the rebellion is over, David is once more king.
David goes to pieces on hearing the news and mourns the death of his son to the extent that the army do not feel like they won a victory.
The death of Absalom confirms a theory that Arnold Rimmer proposed in Red Dwarf - Series 2 episode Emohawk - By Rob Grant and Doug Naylor
The whole exchange goes as follows -
David organised his army into divisions to face Absalom, appointing commanders of tens, hundreds and thousands with Joab in overall command with 1/3 of the troops, with Joab's brother Abishai and Ittai the Gittite taking the other 2/3.
David wanted to lead the troops personally but his advisers said that if David was killed it would all be over, but their lives were of less interest to Absalom and his army. David made a request that Absalom be treated kindly.
The battle took place in a forest in the region of Ephraim, spreading out to cover a large area.
David's army routed Absalom and his army.
Absalom met his demise when he came across some of David's soldiers while riding on his donkey.
As he rode off at top speed his hair got caught in the low branches of an oak tree and the donkey did not stop, leaving Absalom dangling helpless by his hair.
The men in immediate pursuit reported that Absalom was hanging in a tree to Joab, who with 10 of his men killed Absalom - thus ending the rebellion and restoring David as king.
Amihaaz the son of the priest wanted to take the news to David , but Joab knows that David does not usually take the news of the death of his enemy well, after all he killed the messanger who told him that Saul was dead because he had helped him to die.
Joab sent a cushite to tell David the news that Absalom is dead and the rebellion is over, David is once more king.
David goes to pieces on hearing the news and mourns the death of his son to the extent that the army do not feel like they won a victory.
The death of Absalom confirms a theory that Arnold Rimmer proposed in Red Dwarf - Series 2 episode Emohawk - By Rob Grant and Doug Naylor
The whole exchange goes as follows -
Rimmer: Would it harm you to have hair like mine?
The Cat: I have got hair like yours. Just not on my head.
Rimmer: Well, I'm no stranger to the land of scoff. Perhaps you'd like to explain to me why it is that every major battle in history has been won by the side with the shortest haircut.
Kryten: Oh, surely not, sir!
Rimmer: Think about it! Why did the US cavalry beat the Indian nation? Short back and sides versus girly-hippie locks. The Cavaliers and the Roundheads, 1-0 to the pudding-basins. Vietnam, crew-cuts both sides, no score draw.
Kryten: Oh, for a really world-class psychiatrist!
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